Little Fish, Big Fish Swimming In The Water
I was forced to listen to commercial radio for several hours today.
All I can say is, for one thing, thank god for XM. Also, I had not realized it, but there is an oil shortage going on. No, no. . . not the crude oil shortage, the one that is driving gasoline prices up to nearly $4.00 a gallon. There is, in fact, a fish oil shortage. Bet you didn't know about that one.
The way I know is, the FM classic rock station I was made to listen to today ran a commercial at least ten times for “Omega berry” fish oil. The spokesman, the president of the Omega Berry Fish Oil Co., said U.S. citizens are woefully behind their European cousins in the consumption of fish oil. I know I must be, unless fish oil comes from somewhere other than fish; because I pretty much gave up fish after Lent. Anyway, because of this dietary deficiency, me and a lot of other Americans apparently are missing out on the health benefits of fish oil. That’s right, fish oil. That nasty shit you wash off your hands as soon as you can after it gets on you. It apparently has health benefits. It is good for lowering cholesterol, it improves joint function, and I am pretty sure, either directly or indirectly, it improves your sex life. Assuming you have one to begin with, of course.
But this particular fish oil is even better than regular, every day fish oil, because it is fortified with Omega berries. I don’t know what an Omega berry is, and the dude on the commercial didn’t say. It sounds impressive, though. I am guessing it is something akin to the bio-engineered corn one is always hearing about on The X Files re-runs and elsewhere. He also said his fish oil contains no mercury; so we know for sure his fish aren’t coming from anywhere in the Sabine-Neches watershed.
The guy said he was so concerned about Americans’ health, he wanted to give a jar of his fish oil to every American to try out. Every single one. Wow. That is a lot of fish oil, if we all take him up on it. Probably not, though. This guy knows fewer and fewer people are listening to commercial radio, and nobody listening to XM or Sirius is going to hear about it because, oh yeah, they have no commercials.
What I think is, the Obama campaign ought to get ahold of this. They have been trying to organize voter registration drives around the country, to get people signed up who have not participated in the process in awhile, or ever (some of them for good reason, like being dead.) They should go door to door and offer everyone a vial of Omega berry fish oil if they will agree to register and vote.
Hell, for free fish oil, I know I would.
All I can say is, for one thing, thank god for XM. Also, I had not realized it, but there is an oil shortage going on. No, no. . . not the crude oil shortage, the one that is driving gasoline prices up to nearly $4.00 a gallon. There is, in fact, a fish oil shortage. Bet you didn't know about that one.
The way I know is, the FM classic rock station I was made to listen to today ran a commercial at least ten times for “Omega berry” fish oil. The spokesman, the president of the Omega Berry Fish Oil Co., said U.S. citizens are woefully behind their European cousins in the consumption of fish oil. I know I must be, unless fish oil comes from somewhere other than fish; because I pretty much gave up fish after Lent. Anyway, because of this dietary deficiency, me and a lot of other Americans apparently are missing out on the health benefits of fish oil. That’s right, fish oil. That nasty shit you wash off your hands as soon as you can after it gets on you. It apparently has health benefits. It is good for lowering cholesterol, it improves joint function, and I am pretty sure, either directly or indirectly, it improves your sex life. Assuming you have one to begin with, of course.
But this particular fish oil is even better than regular, every day fish oil, because it is fortified with Omega berries. I don’t know what an Omega berry is, and the dude on the commercial didn’t say. It sounds impressive, though. I am guessing it is something akin to the bio-engineered corn one is always hearing about on The X Files re-runs and elsewhere. He also said his fish oil contains no mercury; so we know for sure his fish aren’t coming from anywhere in the Sabine-Neches watershed.
The guy said he was so concerned about Americans’ health, he wanted to give a jar of his fish oil to every American to try out. Every single one. Wow. That is a lot of fish oil, if we all take him up on it. Probably not, though. This guy knows fewer and fewer people are listening to commercial radio, and nobody listening to XM or Sirius is going to hear about it because, oh yeah, they have no commercials.
What I think is, the Obama campaign ought to get ahold of this. They have been trying to organize voter registration drives around the country, to get people signed up who have not participated in the process in awhile, or ever (some of them for good reason, like being dead.) They should go door to door and offer everyone a vial of Omega berry fish oil if they will agree to register and vote.
Hell, for free fish oil, I know I would.
1 comment:
I miss my XM radio! They moved my office so I don't have a south facing window anymore. Now, my radio won't work. I never listen at home and I only have a 7 minute commute.
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