Sweet Child Of Mine
My oldest is 16 now, and he is a handful.
He is bull-headed, for one thing, and has a mouth on him; and he has developed into a complete and total smart-ass.
Tall, broad-shouldered, and stylish, he has to be “cool” at all times. He seems to do well socially, and has many friends. His damn cell phone goes off almost continuously. Right now he is trying to string two girls along, one a sophomore (his age), and the other a senior at another high school. I stay out of his personal business as long as he keeps his grades up, which he has managed to do so far.
He has an after school job, and his driver’s license, and a vehicle of sorts. A 1991 Toyota Corolla, kind of off-red, I guess you’d call it – I'm not sure if that is a factory color, or the result of major oxidation. Anyway, the car is well-used, but it runs okay. Needless to say, I got it cheap.
As soon as he got the car, my son cleaned it up and then went out and bought a decent stereo system to put in it. Thanks to that, I can usually hear him coming home now when he is about halfway down our street.
He plays baseball, and loves hanging out with his friends and listening to music. He has some vague ideas about what he wants to do with his future, but nothing definite. To tell the truth, I don’t think he worries about it or even gives any of that stuff much thought at all. He is a “live for today” sort, as best I can tell. Good for him.
We get along all right, usually. I have always had to be the parental hard-ass when it comes to major transgressions, but the truth is I cut him a lot of slack most of the time; because he is a good kid basically, and because I want him to have fun. I never expected a saint, and have always assumed there would be mischief here and there; which I usually find amusing, as long as he is good about the important stuff.
His relationship with his mother bothers me a little, though. Since around the time he turned 13, he and my wife have often been at loggerheads, as they say. I think that is mostly because, personality-wise, they are a lot alike. Occasionally their set-tos turn nasty, and we end up with a verbal death match going on, usually right in the middle of a good show on the TV. That drives me (and my other son) up the wall. I stay out of it if I can, unless things go too far. Open disrespect and name-calling is where I draw the line.
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Now, take the above several paragraphs and change a few ancillary details, and you pretty much have me at that age, 30-some years ago. It’s weird. I suppose I should not be surprised, because I basically raised him to be this way, but. . . it is like looking at myself sometimes. I think that is why I tend to be lenient with my boy; although I also wonder sometimes how it is my own parents kept from killing me when I was 16. I can see now I gave them plenty of reasons to.
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1 comment:
Your son sounds just fine to me. I don't want to give advice to your wife, but she needs to step back and listen to HERSELF.
Your son might me trying to provoke her, but if she doesn't let herself be provoked, she'll be surprised how quickly the situation (whatever it is) resolves itself.
Strongheaded teenagers think they're adults and can't be treated like children. I speak from experience. When I stopped and listened to how I was speaking to my son, I was actually horrified. I needed changing more than he did. Things changed between us immediately and he turned out magnificently.
Also, try not to nag him about what he wants to do with his future. After working construction after he graduated for a couple years, it didn't take my son long to decide, on his own I might add, that college promised a better future.
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