Friday, February 20, 2009

You Can't Always Get What You Want


I Need. . . Advantages

A friend of mine did this on her blog the other day, and I had enough fun with it I thought I’d pass it on. Google “(Your name) needs” and write down the first eight or ten things that come up which fit the criteria.

Similar to the formula popular a few years back used to discover what one’s “porn name” is (your first pet’s name + the name of the first street you lived on), the results in this little game can seem random, but often oddly appropriate anyway.

Believe it or not, my first name really isn’t Inca. But, out of curiosity, I went ahead and Googled it.

Oh, and if you are even vaguely interested, my porn name is ‘Bo Berkshire.’


Inca needs:

• a lot of water

• a 2006 Bentley Azure

• a home

• an opportunity to upload the calibrations

• someone to step up and volunteer to be a Vice-Commodore

• an adjustment to eliminate snipe

• 40 subdivisions

• 55 tons of fertilizer

• to be inserted into a membrane compartment

• to be busy


Yes. That last one, especially.

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I came across this exercise awhile back and saved it for future use, but then like many things I save for future use, I never saw it again. Until yesterday afternoon when, doing a little spring cleaning in my hard drive, I came across it again. Since today’s blog post is mostly pre-fabricated anyway, I figured I’d throw it in.

Copy and paste the list, then highlight the advantages which you have enjoyed, adding in any explanatory comments you want. Then re-post the highlighted list in a comment to this entry.

By way of disclosure, I have presented my own list below, with my advantages colored in:

01.) Father went to college
02.) Father finished college
03.) Mother went to college
04.) Mother finished college
05.) Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
06.) Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
07.) Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
08.) Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
09.) Were read children's books by a parent
10.) Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
11.) Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
12.) The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
13.) Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
14.) Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
15.) Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
16.) Went to a private high school
17.) Went to summer camp
18.) Had a private tutor before you turned 18
19.) Family vacations involved staying at hotels
20.) Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
21.) Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them

22.) There was original art in your house when you were a child
23.) You and your family lived in a single-family house
24.) Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
25.) You had your own room as a child
26.) You had a phone in your room before you turned 18
27.) Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course
28.) Had your own TV in your room in high school
29.) Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college
30.) Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
31.) Went on a cruise with your family
32.) Went on more than one cruise with your family
33.) Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up
34.) You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family



The aim of this is to point out that where you end up in life often has a lot to do with the advantages you had growing up, I gather. I don’t sense any implication one should be ashamed of whatever advantages one had, although there are people out there who would tell you that you should be. And, well, you know. . . fuck them. Seeking advantages for yourself or looking to provide advantages for your own offspring is human, and as natural as breathing. Only a PC-addled do-gooder, or a hirsute sociologist, would tell you otherwise.

But, it is good to be reminded now and again just how much your parents tried to do for you when you were growing up, often without much fanfare or acknowledgement. Which I realize now, as I raise children of my own, isn’t the point anyway.

On the other hand, if you did not have many advantages early on but turned out all right anyway, go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back. Then go thank your mom and dad anyway, if/while you still can. Even if they happen to be PC-addled do-gooders. Or hirsute sociologists.

(Creative Commons License. This meme is derived from an exercise originally developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, and Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. If you make use of this blog game, they ask that you acknowledge their copyright.)

*****

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

My porn name is "Pookie Peppertree”. Jebus!!!

Anonymous said...

I suppose I'll pass on the whole porn name thing.

Laurie said...

I liked that "needs" thing so much I did a "wants" one, too.

Laurie said...

06.) Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
Not sure what this one means. How would I know?

07.) Had more than 50 books in your childhood home

09.) Were read children's books by a parent

10.) Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
11.) Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
Not sure what these two mean by “lessons.”

12.) The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively

19.) Family vacations involved staying at hotels
Motels, actually. Cheap ones.

23.) You and your family lived in a single-family house

24.) Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home

28.) Had your own TV in your room in high school